This is email between me and someone who was inquiring about treating depression with ibogaine. Depression often presents as more ingrained than even addiction to heroin. It is often easier for us at Liberty Root to get a person off of dope than it is to help someone out of their depressing world view, which this gentleman described to me in his email. I hope my reply offers a roadmap for those with the wherewithal to see it’s value.

This has been edited for context and to protect the questioner:

Name: xxxx

Email: xxxxx@gmail.com

Subject: Treating depression

Comments:

Hello I’m interested in coming to your facility. I have experienced depression and mild ptsd throughout most of my life. Can you point me to anything regarding efficacy of ibogaine to treat depression? I’ve found sparse material. It seems like the underlying cause of addiction is similar to the underlying cause of depression.

I hear ibogaine can be absolutely life changing, but unlike heroin, it’s not like I’m going to “use” again immediately afterwards unless “use” means having bad thoughts about myself or having an Eeyore moment regarding climate change, overpopulation, the rise of cyber police states, the current mass extinction, the likely mass unemployment coming in the next decades through machine learning. These are the sads that my depression has found to justify not being able to enjoy the moment. Underneath these are probably traumas, illusions, delusions, unhealthy thought patterns inherited and developed over my lifetime. These are the things I want to deal with and “interrupt”. If these are what you mean by “use”, then I can’t guarantee I’m not going to do it again.

From: Trevor Millar
To: xxxx@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Treating depression
Date: Thu, 4 Sep 2014 18:05:20 +0000

Hmmmmmm…

I think you hit the nail on the head. To a depressed person, ‘use’ again DOES mean to indulge in those negative thoughts. The hope you’ve got is to allow for a completely different worldview than the one you just painted for me.

Pre-2001 I did what I a good citizen did pre-internet news: wake up every morning, turn on the 24 hours news channel, go to work, read three newspapers throughout the course of the day, watch the evening then 11 o’clock news, go to bed, do it again. I did this and let every slight to my sensibilities to enrage me, if not enraged, at least I’d feel pretty righteous because I was so much smarter than ‘these schmucks’. Then a couple of planes hit a couple of office towers. I stuck to my regular diet of media for about two months after that craziness, and thank goodness, somehow I recognized I had become mentally ill.

I immediately went on a media fast that lasted more than three years. Amazingly, I was still able to participate in any current events conversation that came my way, but because I had stepped back from the mayhem, I had broader perspective and therefore brought more to the table in those conversations, and everywhere.

What media has created of the citizenry in it’s current incarnation (internet included) is that it turns the majority into passive, obsessive, observers. Observer, like rubbernecking a car accident, obsessive, like a vulture circling the carnage, and passive because most people aren’t doing anything about it. This is a depressive, if not maddening stance. Anyone who chooses to plug in and allow their peace of mind to be manipulated by fear mongering which then turns them apathetic is playing right into the hands of those on earth who would like to maintain the status quo, no matter how much suffering and destruction it might mean.

What did I do with all my new media-free time? I tried to do something to make the world a better place. Before I had any idea what I could actually do, because I really had no idea, I grabbed a trash bag, went out my front door, and started picking up garbage. I did this for hundreds of hours. Bags and bags of trash filled. People would recognize what I was doing and give me applause. Applause! Something else happened in that the task of picking up trash proved very meditative, and once in this meditative, giving, serving posture I got loads of ideas on what else I might do to help a world so obviously crying for it, thereby making me feel as though I was living on purpose, which comes hand-in-hand with happiness.

I decided to try and help the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver. I had no qualification to try and help this ‘poorest postal code in Canada’ but decided that if I lived suffering on the east side, and there was someone out there who thought they might be able to help, I would want them to try. From 2001 to 2009 I quietly chipped away at my pet project of the DTES. To the outside observer it might have appeared a waste of time. Then I had a conversation that lead to the breakthrough on what I could do: leverage ibogaine. Five years later, we consistently help people make massive transformation in their lives, and you know what? It feels freaking awesome! I now have inverted depression: a state of joy, psychically countering every negative thing on earth that used to irk me so. It took me a long time, with many darks night of the soul as I was searching with dim faith for a way I could really thrive, but it was well worth it for me, and a lot of other people. To think of the ‘butterfly effect’ on people who have been helped by my consciously stepping away from my own mental illness is staggering for me to contemplate, and joyful.

I made a choice against mental illness in 2001 and have done some work every day since then to cultivate it’s opposite in me through willing my focus towards empowering aspects of myself and the world. Ibogaine can interrupt the pattern you’ve grown so accustomed to but it’s still going to be your call on what mental mould you’re going to build and fill in after that. What would a joyful you be up to?

The question every depressed person needs to face before transformation can take place is: do you want to feel ‘right’ about how you see the world and your place in it, or do you want to be happy?

Here are some resources that may help:

A vid on how your negative judgements about things screw YOU over, no one else: http://youtu.be/aK8oCvBb9cE

An empowering take on the responsibility you have to your own circle of influence: http://youtu.be/_O0YkFnKcgY

The higher your aim the happier you’ll be, as you’ll be properly fulfilling your purpose on earth. Here’s a blog I wrote on that: http://libertyroot.net/be-your-own-superhero/

And if you want a great tool on how to break the momentum you’ve got towards fear based thoughts you should dig into “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living ” by Dale Carnegie. Here’s the whole audio of it: http://youtu.be/O8GRDyvMlRg

If you want something like ibogaine to be effective and not kick the crap out of you, you should faithfully start momentum in the direction I’ve described. I often say plant spirit medicines are like Santa Claus, they know whether you’ve been naughty or nice, but only because at your core, you know whether or not you could be doing more. Meet ibogaine having already put in the work, knowing that your ‘using again’ does mean indulging in negative thinking, then I’d be excited to hear about your experience.

Please take some time to check out the resources I’ve included. I’m confident an answer to your dismay has now been revealed to you, I hope you might find the courage to action it. Good luck and stay in touch.

Take care,
Trevor

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