I’ve been an unabashed truth seeker for at least a decade, looking for those chinks in the matrix that might unveil a clearer picture of what’s actually happening as we navigate this world that science is quick to admit, is a complete illusion. We seem to be looking at a table, but in reality it is a mass of trillions (or more) swirling atoms, with ’empty’ space as the main component.

I remember a day, which may have been weeks, where I was chanting to myself, ‘truth at all costs, truth at all costs’ and if you chant that even once with any meaning behind it, you’ll see the price you pay for truth, is a complete shattering of illusions, which while completely false, seem very comfortable. We don’t want to have to tell ourselves every time we see a table that it is not really there as we see it at all. We don’t want to be reminded about things like an undeniable interconnectedness that means ultimately, you and that table are one and the same thing…  So truth at all costs, does come at a cost, but you soon learn that you’re sacrificing nothing for everything. Unconsciousness for perfect knowing. As a certain scripture reads:  Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the [peace in knowing the Truth].

With my experience on this quest for Truth in mind, I hereby do present a certain context I have uncovered that I am starting to see the world and our place in it from. This is a work in progress, and in no way makes an attempt to encapsulate Truth, as that is impossible, but this is an attempt at pointing to certain empowering ways of seeing things. It is my guess that anyone might take this context and overlay it over the way they see their world in order to make sense of purpose and place in life overall. Or not.  Take it or leave it, that’s the beauty of our inherent freedom. But if you read this and get upset, I would suggest that’s a symptom of the maya you’re infected with that I’m attempting to wake you from.

It is my understanding that we are all asleep in perfection, dreaming of exile, and the dream has been going on for eons. In religious terms, we’re asleep in heaven, dreaming of hell. Humans are fallen children of God (that perfect aspect of creation at our core), perfect in every way, except that we’ve forgotten who we are and therefore don’t act accordingly, which is the source of all our suffering. We are stuck on the wheel of karma, being born life after life so that we might work out the tangles, as it were, we’ve created through this false identification with material and mortal aspects of the universe and ourselves. A person dies with any number of unfulfilled desires and unhealed revulsions. A person will then be born again into a life situation that is frequency specific to who they have become in past incarnations, so as to allow the most opportunity to undo the eddies of the ego that are holding people back from full awakening. In a way, we’re addicted to those frequencies we’re most comfortable with, but need to heal that addiction to evolve beyond repetitive, needless suffering.

Ask any person who spends a lot of time with infants, or even parents with multiple kids, and they’ll tell you every child is born with a unique personality very much in place. This is baggage from past incarnations that has been brought along to be sorted through in this lifetime. This has vast implications and helps with theological roadblocks like how ‘innocent’ babies are ‘allowed’ by a loving God to be born into horrible circumstances, or whether or not a person has a choice in their sexual orientation. Sexual orientation is a result of your past karma, who you have been in previous lives, plus who you need to be in this life to fully experience the lessons you have yet to learn. My truth seeking also unveiled that ultimately none of us is male or female, we are perfect androgynes in reality, and only manifest positive and negative natures in this maya (illusion) of duality; this dream of exile.

This context allows for healing through forgiveness. It is our relationships to one-another that have been sickened most by this illusion of littleness and separateness from each other, ignoring our divine heritage and birthrights. We are like waves rising out of the ocean to do battle with each other, ignoring the fact that we’re one and the same ocean. Through forgiveness of our outmoded emotional reactions to each other in light of the greater context of our Unity in Reality, we can step out of the well worn patterns of hate and fear that keep dragging us back into the clutches of suffering.

The point of it all is to wake up to the fact that we’ve been asleep in Heaven this whole time, perfectly safe as What You Are in Reality, which is a Limitless and Immortal State of Being. This comes along with the realization that there is nothing material that can satisfy, nothing, you’ve been using your five senses like a dog chasing it’s tail, like Mick Jagger said, the illusory sense of separateness can’t get no satisfaction, because satisfaction feels like wholeness. There is no such thing as material satisfaction, and the search for it has driven us bonkers. Eventually we can’t help but wake to the truth that lasting happiness only comes from surrendering all material desires, desiring only unity and sustenance from God, the Sole Creative Force. As I’ve uncovered in loads of esoteric texts, and confirmed within myself, this also means redirecting sexual energy so that it is no longer aimed outwards, towards material procreation, but up the spine into the higher centers so as to increase the energetic and vibratory capacity of the spinal cord and body as a whole. Taoist and Kundalini practices for sexual energy cultivation lead to this end, and is the now forgotten original inspiration behind priests, nuns, and holy people being celibate. Fusing your feminine and masculine energies within your body means the end of craving, the dawn of Eternal Satisfaction, and with such your body becomes the material manifestation of the Holy Grail, the Scared Marriage, which is really a restoration of what was never broken. We are the Prodigal Son of The Lord of the Universe in such a real way it’s staggeringly glorious, but not while we squander our Fathers treasures behaving like material beasts on a ball of mud, ejaculating the most creative energies we’ve got at every given opportunity. The feeling of Divine Union is what orgasm wants to be when it grows up. 

I’ve also uncovered that just as I have a (surprise!), yet complete feminine half to myself, I also have a dark shadow self. This is the manifestation of the flip side of all those times that I considered myself a victim, it is a beast who feels justified in violently raging to right the wrongs it tells itself it has faced, across lifetimes. One of the worst things you could do for the evolution of your soul is consider yourself a victim of anything. Don’t see a victim in anyone else either, we’re all Divine and getting exactly what we’ve ordered through our repetitive thoughts and emotions. Your decisions are always 100% responsible for bringing you where you stand today, even if it’s decisions made across lifetimes. Years of meditation and contemplation brought me to the depths of the darkness of my being, and while there, I met everyman, just as I experience Oneness with Us All in the vaulted peaks of Silent, Still, Ecstasy. Dante could describe the Hells and Heavens we relate to, that still make his book a bestseller, because his Divine Comedy speaks for Universal Man’s lot while we remain deceived, plus it can act as a map beyond…

“A saint is a sinner who never gave up.” ~Yogananda 

I invite everyone I know to make their own personal quest for Truth At All Costs to see if we end up on the same page. I expect we do, and I hope we start riding our Inherited Glory together soon.